Who Touched My Chair?

We tend to be extremely possessive of our belongings.  Recently, an incident was shared with me regarding a rather heated exchange between an older sister, age 13, and her younger brother, age 11.  They were visiting relatives and out on an excursion.  He had brought his ball cap on the trip but had chosen not to wear it that day.  Seeing that he was not using it, his sister chose to wear it.  The argument revolved around his right not to use his possession but retain his right to determine whether or not someone else could use it without his permission.  Inasmuch as it was not being worn, his sister felt justified in wearing it and felt his objection was unjustified.

Based on this latter presumption, most of us should expect a horde of our neighbors to rummage through our homes and help themselves to about 20 percent of our possessions.  Inasmuch as these unused items occupy a large portion of  our dwellings, this sort of invasion  might be a blessing.  Instead, we could just take advantage of local thrift stores.  When we finally acknowledge that we probably will never use certain items again, these stores are an ideal way to support worthy causes and offer others an opportunity to use our unwanted treasures.

In less developed cultures, people have far fewer personal items than we do in our nation.  Our hunter-gatherer ancestors had many items in common and most of their weapons, tools and dwellings were fashioned by themselves or other members of their small community.  Many groups were nomadic and could not afford to carry excess items as they migrated from one place to another.  Their few personal possessions were primarily functional and essential to their survival.

With very few exceptions, we generally don’t have any idea who has made those things we possess.  This is unfortunate because innumerable people have been engaged in making our lives safe and comfortable.  Although we live as individuals, we are infinitely interconnected with and interdependent on others around the world.  Perhaps we should occasionally take time to reflect on their contribution to our lives.

Let’s consider a simple kitchen chair.  Who initially designed it?  Who harvested the wood that was used?  Who fashioned the various components, the legs, seat and back?  Who produced the stain, varnish, and glue to hold it together and enhance its appearance?  Who purchased it for sale in the store where it was bought?  Who built the tools that were used, the buildings in which the chair was manufactured, warehoused or sold. Who produced the various vehicles that transported it throughout the process? How did it get to your home?  

The inquiries are endless and reveal the vast number of people who have had a hand in making it possible for that chair to be used by its final owner.  Too often we casually dispose of our belongings with no thought of all that went into their construction.  Choosing to re-home unwanted or unused items is one way to honor those who have contributed to their development and distribution.  

We have only considered one item.  It would be overwhelming to go through this process with every object in our surroundings on a regular basis.  However, occasionally doing so as we wander through our home, get in our car or pick up our phone might help us expand our awareness of our greater human family.  

Have you ever considered how many lives you have touched throughout the vast matrix of our planet by the work you do?  Those of us who work in a service industry are not producing permanent objects, but our efforts can still have a ripple effect.  As a massage therapist, I promote my clients’ wellbeing.  Hopefully, they, in turn, influence others in a positive way at least partially due to my efforts.  This is equally true with those who work in medicine, restaurants, education, hospitality, entertainment, and so on.   

It has been said that one thing we can do to enhance our mental health is develop an attitude of gratitude.  Being thankful for the multitudes who have made our lives better through the numerous objects that surround us is one way to do that.  Hopefully, others will send a little gratitude our way as well.

 

Philosophy Ain't So Bad

For decades I have had a visceral dislike for philosophy.  It seemed to me that the only value of a philosophy degree was to teach philosophy, and for the most part that may still be true.  It all just seemed like a pretentious effort to engage in esoteric self aggrandizement. 

I found Descartes’ famous quote, “I think. Therefore I am,” amusing.  My response was these philosophers just needed a real job.  Then they could say, “I have calluses.  Therefore I am.”  It just seemed like the whole discipline  offers nothing to the average person to enhance their ability to live more fulfilling lives. Therefore, I simply rejected philosophy as unworthy of any further consideration.

Over the years, I have learned that the original meaning of the word philosophy simply meant a lover of wisdom.  Of course, we are then left with the challenge of defining wisdom.  To me, it is the ability to apply knowledge, experience and good judgment to new situations in a way that optimizes the outcome.  Now, that is something I can fully embrace.  So I must confess that I am apparently a philosopher, one who truly loves wisdom.

As early philosophers sought to gain knowledge and define wisdom, they developed specific perceptions and axioms that they taught to their followers.  Consequently, the word philosophy eventually meant more than merely a love of wisdom.  It represented particular ways of thinking and conceptualizing reality.  Using this latter definition, we can reasonably say that everyone has a philosophy of  life.  Some are more defined than others, but we all have a basic guideline for living.

Is it essential for us to know what our philosophy is?  If I am thoroughly  content to allow life to direct my path, then probably not. Otherwise, I may want to be aware of my priorities, motivators and attitudes that contribute to my decisions and emotional responses to stressors.  Mindful living can make all of the difference in the world.

Of course, nobody ever said that philosophies had to be hopeful, creative or positive.  Some philosophies I have encountered over the years include: “If it feels good, do it”; “Do unto others before they do unto you”; and one from Timothy Leary (a psychologist  and social influencer of the counter culture during the 1960s who promoted the use of LSD and social disconnect) “Turn on, tune in and drop out.”  These may not be particularly uplifting, but they are certainly clear and concise. 

In my early twenties, I encountered a Pentecostal church and became thoroughly emerged in a narrow Christian philosophy.  Over the next twenty years, I began reading much more than the Bible and eventually concluded that the core principles of love, mercy, gratitude, forgiveness and reverence of the eternal are universal human aspirations that are evident in most of the major religions and philosophies of the world.  Now I find the Tao Te Ching extremely inspiring and embrace traditional Stoic philosophy.

I suppose that academic philosophy has some value if it can encourage college students to be more introspective and clear about their individual outlooks on life.  However, I wonder how applicable the old Buddhist saying is, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”  It is certainly possible to present philosophical precepts and theories, but a love of wisdom must truly come from within. 

I was deeply impressed with the potential influence of philosophy teachers when I recently read  Teacher: The One Who Made The Difference by Mark Edmundson.  In a class of high school students in Massachusetts, he inspired members of the class to actually think about what they believed, using a variety of creative methods.  This was not an exploration of philosophic theory and history.  It was an examination of their society and individual selves.  Socrates would have been proud. 

Whose Kid Are You?

I came across an interesting quote recently from Seneca, “We like to say that we don’t get to choose our parents, but they were given by chance.  Yet, we can truly choose whose children we’d like to be.” Initially, this seems like a complete rejection of our parents, and for some that may be a necessary step towards healing if it was a particularly toxic relationship.  However, I think that for the majority of us, it is possible to fully honor our parents and yet embrace additional sources of mentorship.

Most parents are capable of providing their children with basic personal and social skills in order to live reasonably normal lives; however, we are only able to guide others to the same level we have achieved.  I think most responsible parents would acknowledge their limitations and the hope that their children would be able to exceed them financially and, more importantly, in attaining a greater sense of wellbeing.  This will mean that our offspring will need to seek additional guidance with wholehearted parental support.

Humans have been blessed with symbolic consciousness.  It is what has enabled us to develop language and written communication. Other animals can teach one another  when they are both present.  However, human communication methods allow thoughts, images and sounds to be transmitted over distances and time.  Even musical composers from hundreds of years ago were able to preserve their inspirations in ways that allow them to be played by musicians in our current age.

The greatest barrier to our intellectual, emotional, psychological and/or spiritual growth is the belief that we have already learned everything we need to know.  This lack of humility and curiosity can prevent us from reaching our highest level of existence.  Greater joy, sense of accomplishment, total contentment or professional development may lie within the pages of that book we didn’t read, the documentary we didn’t watch, the weekend retreat we didn’t attend or the comments of a friend we didn’t really listen to.

The problem is that we can never know what we don’t know.  It has been said that ignorance is bliss. There may be some truth to that, but willing ignorance is often a choice to live below our full potential.

If we are completely content with our lives, then there is nothing to do but continue on our current path.  If, however, we have a sense that there is always something new lying just beyond the horizon, we will need to develop an openness to new ideas and concepts.  There is no way to predict the source of our next awakening, but it is essential to maintain a willingness to have our beliefs, knowledge, values and more, challenged. 

As we encounter new ideas, it does not automatically mean that changes must occur.  It does mean that we will develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and, hopefully, a greater confidence in who we are becoming.  When we discover mentors, whether alive or long deceased, it would be prudent to proceed cautiously as we consider incorporating their guidance into our journey.

Below are a few books that I have personally found beneficial because they present a wide range of thoughts to consider.

“A Calendar of Wisdom: Daily Thoughts to Nourish the Soul, Written and Selected from the World's Sacred Texts by Leo Tolstoy”

“Breakfast with Seneca: A Stoic Guide to the Art of Living” by David Fiddler

“Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents” by Isabel Wilkerson

“How to Think Like Socrates: Ancient Philosophy as a Way of Life in the Modern World” by Donald J. Robertson

“Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius

“The Daily Stoic | Stoic Wisdom for Everyday Life” by Ryan Holiday

“As A Man Thinketh” by James Allen

 

How Good Are You?

If someone asked me, “How good are you?”  I would probably want to know what area of my life they are referring to.  I am an amateur musician who can play   and sing well enough to entertain friends and family, but I seriously doubt that anyone would pay money for a performance.  I can do some small rough household projects but work in slow motion and do fairly well.  I am a massage therapist and have had numerous satisfied clients over the years. So, I think I’m pretty good at that.  

I enjoy writing but have never had anything published.  This blog is a pretty good indication of how anemic my following is.  I suppose this means that I’m not a particularly compelling writer.

The focus of this post, however,  is something altogether different from our personal skills and abilities.  Beginning thousands of years ago, Greek and Roman philosophy centered around individuals developing their personal virtue.  While the virtues of a horse might be strength, endurance, speed, intelligence or agility.  The emphasis of these early philosophers was on what characteristics needed to be developed in order to be a valuable member of society.  

Stoicism narrowed the list of qualities primarily to four, wisdom, courage, self discipline and justice.  Apparently they debated endlessly about what constituted a ‘good man’.  Marcus Aurelius expressed his exasperation over this when he wrote, “Stop talking about what the good man is like and just be one.”

Virtue is not a term we hear much in our current society which is terribly unfortunate. There are innumerable self help books on the market, but the majority deal with relationships, depression, self esteem, getting rich and other ways to change our emotions or circumstances but not our inner character.  I suppose that this is just one more example of how egocentric we have become.  

The concept of virtue was not limited to the Greeks and Romans.  Proverbs 31:10-31 highlight the qualities of the ‘virtuous woman’.  She is diligent, industrious, kind, wise and devoted to her husband, family, community and God. The teachings of Jesus felt with love, mercy, forgiveness, humility and kindness.  The apostle Paul addressed our inner virtues when he listed the fruit of the spirit, “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

The radicalism of many contemporary elements of Islam overshadow the original teachings of the Quran.  There are numerous admonitions to live peacefully with “the people of the book” which refers to Jews and Christians.  In addition, givings alms to the poor is a key tenet of the Islamic faith.    I have personally experienced the kindness and hospitality of the Muslim community in Dunedin Florida.

The eastern philosophies of hinduism, Buddhism and Taoism all promote the cultivation of the inner life.  They are committed to loving kindness and community harmony.  Some of the most gentle people I have encountered have come from India.

The main reason I am a member of an unprogrammed Quaker meeting is because we do not promote a specific theological doctrine.  Instead, each person seeks their own understanding of the eternal.  What we hold in common is an ongoing effort to manifest our testimonies, Quaker values.  In their simplest form they are simplicity, peace, integrity, community and equality.  These are virtues I can fully embrace.

In light of the harsh rancor that has permeated our nation and fills the internet and airways, perhaps it is time to revisit the idea of nurturing our inner virtues. It would be so refreshing if we could start talking about what the good woman/man is like and begin striving to become one.