Moving Beyond Individualism

On June 12, 2017, my post was entitled Synergy is Weaving the Fabric of the Universe. In it, I presented the concept of synergistic relationships. Four elements are key to nurturing this level of interconnection.

1.    Unity is the highest priority:  No issue, personal interest, opinion or desire is more important than maintaining the solidarity of the relationship.

2.    Differences are resolved openly, honestly and with mutual respect.

3.    Altruism is pervasive:  Everyone recognizes that they are part of a greater whole.  Therefore, the needs of others are regularly attended to with the same care one might exercise towards oneself.

4.    Success is everyone’s responsibility:  All members are equally committed to maintaining a harmonious internal relationship and insuring the effective achievement of the group's objectives and activities.

The greatest obstacle to these fully integrated relationships is the personal isolation that results from our obsession with individualism.  Our nation takes great pride in the illusion of being  comprised of "rugged individuals."  We revere the outstanding leaders that have served our nation over the years, but lose sight of the fact that their primary accomplishments were to inspire the collaborative efforts of others. 

What could George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt, George Patton or others have accomplished without the support and sacrifice of millions of committed Americans? 

Too often extreme individualism is manifested through criminality, manipulation, greed,  brutality and numerous other socially destructive behaviors.  We have all witnessed the selfish actions of narcissistic individuals as they clamor to fulfill their needs and desires while completely  disregarding their impact on  those around them.  Even in benign forms, those who continually insist on imposing their individual wants, needs and "rights" can undermine interpersonal relations with even their closest loved ones and friends.

We are a complex species. Certainly we need to be able to think and act independently, yet we live in a matrix of social connections.  If humanity hopes to reach a higher level of harmony, it must cultivate a greater sense of collective interdependence, cohesion and collaboration.

I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered Terry Real’s book, Us: Getting Past You And Me To Build A More Loving Relationship.  He devotes an entire chapter to "The Myth of Individualism." The rest of the book focuses on  transforming ‘you’ and ‘me’ into ‘we’ in meaningful relationships. 

It would be impossible for me to overemphasize the significance of this book.  I am recommending it to anyone who is interested in elevating their relationships to a higher level.  It is never too early or too late to implement the principles presented throughout this insightful work.